On The Roll

Today has above all else been a day for productivity. I woke up in the mood for getting things done; going out and ensuring that life continues smoothly. Usually days like this have a tendency to get you down because it is never entirely practical to complete all the missions you set yourself to a high standard, yet nothing I did today required my usual perfectionist attitude.

I began with the boring bit; finances. I have a financial ineptitude and I rarely hide it. I know I'm bad with money. Today was about exerting a little bit of effort to try and set things in order once and for all. I've finally left my old bank who were messing me around in favour for having all my accounts managed by the same bank. This has all gone relatively smoothly.

Second up I enquired about further education - something I might reveal more about soon. Thirdly I have begun the chase towards work. The last couple of days have proven that getting work in the creative industries is going to be a job in itself and is something I must persist with and keep on top of. It won't be easy, but for me there has always been a thrill-of-the-chase element to my life. Even if the destination isn't what I thought it would be, it has always been about the journey.

Finally I've begun tidying the flat. It has been a state since I started work on my dissertation and I couldn't stand working in it any longer, so I've begun what will hopefully continue to be the start of a new and better life in Portsmouth.

I will update more soon, so long for now.

Beginning.

It has occurred to me that I spend too much of my time thinking about the things that I want and things that I don't have rather than enjoying what I do have. I've spent a great deal of my year thinking about what I want to achieve rather than actually achieving them. I've spent time trying to create an image for myself rather than accepting who I am already.

What have I achieved this year? Well, I've celebrated my engagement, self-published a poetry book, completed a masters degree in creative writing, returned to the stage and written a fair portion of my first novel. I think I could do more, but I should be happy with what I have achieved so far.

This brings me to wonder what drives people. I read stories about other people's accomplishments, and that is what drives me. I want to be the person people are reading about. I want people to think 'He's a busy, creative guy.' But I don't know why I want people to think that. There is no benefit in that for me other than a sense of achievement. I guess that must be it. I just enjoy feeling like I've accomplished something.

As you can see, I've decided to start blogging again. As much for me as anyone else. It's a good release and it keeps me writing. This time it won't be filled with things I want to do, but things that I am doing. I've spent too much of my life wanting things and not enough time going out and achieving them.